A story on the internet by Flagg Eagleton, Lead Journalisticator for America’s Last Line of Defense, says that Bill and Hillary Clinton are finally being investigated for murder. After arduous research and confirming the credentials of this fine reporter, we find that the story must be true
Otherwise, why would he write it?
Several “fact-checkers” have looked into the claim itself, which may be bogus, rather than looking into the spirit of the claim. It’s…the Clintons. They’ve killed like 500 people or something. Of course they’re being investigated.
While we didn’t bother to confirm the where, why, who, or when, because we don’t do that sort of thing, we did confirm that the story was shared a lot and a bunch of God-fearing, Trump-loving conservatives who hope it’s true.
And really…does anything else matter? Tell your friends in those groups you joined. Let everyone know you’ve found the truth. Tell your family they disowned you for nothing, and that the day of reckoning is upon us.
Hopefully, the Clintons will end up in a satirical jail cell sooner than later, so the “fact-checkers” can call that a lie, too.
Remember, patriots. If it doesn’t say “Fiction” somewhere in the site’s title, they’re probably lying to you.
God bless America.