Elect;Fox News Sets The Record Straight: Wallace is a Liar

Chris Wallace, CNN, and the entire liberal world are jumping up and down and celebrating their victory. Unfortunately for them, Fox News has something to say about it.

According to our sources inside the Fox newsroom, little about Wallace’s story makes sense. They say that his departure was far too quick and messy to have been orchestrated by anyone other than Rupert Murdoch himself.

One source told another source that even the anonymous sources had the information at this point, and soon the MSM would have no choice but to let it out: Wallace was fired.

We reached out to our source at CNN, who told us they had no information to report as of yet:

“We don’t really have a reason to be here, so they don’t tell us much. Yesterday we learned that Jim Acosta likes his tuna melt with Miracle Whip, which is just weird.”

That’s the kind of information that lets you know they’re hiding something over there, patriots. People don’t just behave like that for no reason.

Wallace wasn’t available for comment at the Starbucks I go to, probably because he doesn’t live here, so there’s not much to report there, either, patriots. The whole thing is a bit of a mess, but not to worry. We here at America’s Last Line of Defense will get to the truth. Or not.

God bless America.

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