Elect;Rittenhouse Sues Fake News Website That Keeps Lying About Him For $12 Million

Kyle Rittenhouse has had enough of the fake news organization that keeps claiming he’s suing everyone, so he’s suing them for $12 million.

The organization, a known liberal satire company that spends its days making fun of people like Kyle and selling nonsense to “taters,” has been spreading stories that Rittenhouse is suing a bunch of people, including CNN, the Justice Department, LeBron James, and two members of The View.

In reality, Rittenhouse isn’t suing anyone, nor does ALLOD care if he is or ever does. According to the owner, Busta Troll, they’re “selling stories to clicky boomers who will believe literally anything, and having one of their weird hero fetishes sue people always works for them.”

Weird flex, bro, but okay.

Anyway, the lawsuit says that the satire isn’t really satire because someone didn’t think it was funny, and therefore the People vs. Larry Flint no longer applies.

Unfortunately for Kyle, he’ll more than likely have to rely on GoFundMe handouts, since this lawsuit is about as believable as his appearance on the stand.

We reached out to us for a comment. I told me:

“The best part about all of this is the family had to release a statement to the AP, so we know lil’ Kyle is watching. Hahahaha. Not guilty, Kyle. Good for you. Enjoy your fame, murderer.”

God bless America.

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