Queefsbury, New Jersey is in morning today, feeling the extreme and shocking loss of podcaster, anti-vaxx advocate, and professional douche burger Joeseph Rogan from severe diarrhea associated with the Covid virus. He was 55.
Rogan, who began his career on liberal laugh leviathan Comedy Central with “The Man Show”, went on during his career to host television programs such as “Fear Factor” and “What’s That In My Vagina?” before drifting slowly downward in popularity to the point of running a popular podcast that’s only popular because of his show business friends appearing on it.
As reported recently, Rogan had contracted the pandemic viral infection from close intimate contact with best friend Clint Eastwood. The two lovers were separated as of last week due to arguments involving anal blenders and their speed settings.
Rogan’s estate is varied and a small will has been identified. The personality has left a variety of recording and broadcasting equipment to his partner and producer Sandy Batt, who has already admitted that she’s preparing to sell it all for bloogies and Star Wars Baby Yoda figurines. Those little bastards are going to be worth absolutely nothing within a year.
Also in the mix are twenty-eight large crates of pornography, ranging from overweight people with paraplegics, to gay black midgets pegging gay white truck mechanics. Although that’s not gay, technically, and perfectly okay. Or is it?
Services for Rogan and his family are scheduled to begin next year on Groundhog’s Day. This will leave the family plenty of time to create an amusement park to capitalize on his horrifying end.