Elect;Tucker Carlson Files $25M Defamation Suit Against Maker of M&Ms

Left wing commentators and “journalists” have recently become the target of several defamation lawsuits by individuals that have been themselves targets of their fake news reporting.

Now, one conservative host is determined to take battle one step further and sue “woke” corporate America.

Fox news host Tucker Carlson has filed a 25 million dollar defamation lawsuit against the Mars Wrigley Confectionery division of Mars, Incorporated.

The lawsuit comes as a result of Mars’ alleged reaction to a news broadcast where the Fox News icon criticized the company for caving in to radical left democrats and altering the characters featured in their ads to be androgynous and less sexy.

Specifically, the lawsuit claims that Mars “deliberately and maliciously misinterpreted a hand gesture that Mr. Carlson made during the news segment in question” and “mocked the physique of the plaintiff to the point that it caused great embarrassment and permanent damage to both his reputation and psychological well-being.”

Carlson spokesperson Cletus Derpfinger explains:

“If you watch the news segment, Tucker is clearly lamenting the length of the high heels of the Green M&M. The hand gesture was meant to show how long the heels used to be, which was around 2.5 inches.

Next thing you know some joker at Mars puts out an official company statement that the gesture was meant to show how big Tuckers penis used to get every time he saw the old green M&M character. Tucker is adamant that it is much larger than 2.5 inches, unless right after a cold shower or interviewing Nancy Pelosi.

In fact, anyone who works with Tucker on a daily basis can’t help but notice the boner in his pants after he interviews people like Kayleigh McEnany or, for some strange reason, Donald Trump. It’s not huge, but definitely larger than 2.5 inches. I’ve seen it myself. It’s at least 3.5 inches.

Ever since that statement by Mars, Tucker hasn’t been able to get laid and all of the female staff at Fox giggle every time they see him. It’s a disgrace that we’re going to make the company pay for dearly.”

Mars declined to comment other than providing a short statement saying that “The news segment speak for itself; it is not our fault that Mr. Carlson has a fetish for the Green M&M or that his lil’ fireman appears to be on the left tail end of the normal curve distribution.”

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