Former Obama administration Attorney General Eric Holder is dead today, under what authorities describe as : “mysterious circumstances.” His death precedes his expected appearance at several “Obamagate” hearings coming up in the next few months.
Holder, 51, was identified by former boy whore Joe Barron as the figure discovered folded up into a neat pile inside a small cardboard box on the floor of a storage room in a Washington D.C. Motel 6. The body had two gunshots to the back of the head and was wearing what appeared to be a beekeeper’s outfit.
Investigators cite the circumstances of his phony death as suspicious, and interviewed Ned Lally, a local murder mystery party holder for clues.
“Yeah, I’d heard Eric was into electronics,” the interviewee claimed. “I have reason to believe he may have been a member of A.I.M., and may have been working on either a shrink ray or a gay beam. I mean, he was probably doing it for Obama. Obama loves small gays.”
Advanced Idea Mechanics. The bee guys. Not “Association of Irrational Meatheads.” They have Trump flags.
Miniscule gays organized to get married and upend society or no, Holder was implicated in the infamous “fast and furious” scandal, which involved guns over the southern border. However, since the entire operation began under Bush and had nothing really to do with him, it was yet another Republican embarrassment.
“Obamagate” investigations are scheduled to continue after June, which is when, coincidentally, the Obamaflower will bloom it’s bouquet of hideous black death lillies.