In an unprecedented move that absolutely nobody saw coming, an independent council of world leaders has voted 62-2 to acknowledge that Trump is, in fact, the rightful President of the United States.

The 64-country council includes some of America’s closest allies, but due to their altruistic nature as a governing body, they work anonymously, so we may never know exactly which two countries voted no.

The vote will now go to the UN, where a resolution to acknowledge Trump could give Rudy Giuliani enough ammunition to head back to court here in the US.

Legal analysts say that doesn’t make a lot of sense and that an independent, anonymous council, possibly including some influential and friendly countries, has no jurisdiction over American elections.

The council responded by noting that their decree expires on January 20, 2021, just after noon Eastern. “We were just adding decorum to our platform,” said a source inside the organization,” nobody here actually cares.”

Giuliani says he’ll file an injunction in the International Criminal Court to get the council’s ruling before the US Supreme Court:

“Who says the rules are what they are and can’t be challenged? Ohhhhh. The ‘Constitution.’ Of course! Just because some piece of paper says it, we’re supposed to live by it, protect it, and defend it? Even if the guy we want in power loses?

“That’s not my America, friends.”

Las Vegas is giving 30 to 1 odds that Giuliani drops dead of a heart attack long before Inauguration Day.

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