When you’re in a courtroom, it’s really best to just sit, answer questions, behave yourself, and keep a hold on your temper. This is a lesson that space bartender Whoopi Goldberg is about to learn for two months.


It’s gonna make “Hot to Trot” seem like a field day.
During the fictional trial for the lawsuit filed against her and other hosts of The View by Republican patriot hero fatty Kyle Rittenhouse, Whoopi got full-on slapped with a contemp of court charge by judge Joe Barron yesterday. It wasn’t pretty.

Courtroom witnesses described the nappy-headed activist’s outburst to associated press just outside the Queefborough, Wisconsin chambers yesterday.

“The prosecution was questioning Guinan, who will be appearing in season 2 of Paramount hit ‘Picard’ this month, about what specifically she had said on her program about young psycho. That’s when she flew off the handle.”

Records indicate the following was the completely non-existent banter that tipped her into hot water :

“I said the f***ing little sociopathic prick was trying to be a hero to all the f****ing sociopathic conservatives, is what he was doing. Republicans love murderers. They support them every time. I hoped, at the time, he’d at least get some f****ing jail time, that cockblasting f****.”

“My son is a good boi. Give us thousands of dollars.”
Judge Barron immediately imposed a “contempt of court” charge on the “Ghost” star, resulting in two months in jail, seven hundred dollars in fines, and being pushed into a barrel naked and tied up and sent up and down the courtroom elevator for two hours.

Those are some hefty penalties, Whoopi. Maybe next time, you’ll just do it all on the holodeck.

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