Never mind what those silly liberal fact-checkers say, patriots. The truth is where you want it to be, and that, friends is right here. We examined every aspect of this story and found that it is credible, honest, and very well written:

The author, Flagg Eagleton, has been the lead journalisticator for America’s Last Line of Defense for almost four years. His articles have reached tens of millions of people. Could a guy like that be wrong?

The site itself, while ridiculous to the naked eye, is obviously a well-hidden bastion of truth, securing its own versions of truth and freedom behind a “satire” label, as though their information could ever be checked by someone without a degree in Youtubing.

Then, of course, there’s the image. I mean…there it is. In full color. The two women look shocked, and a CNN graphic says they were fired. What else do you need?

The bottom line here, patriots, is that you can always trust the America’s Last Line of Defense network to deliver you the news you want to hear but maybe you don’t want to try so hard to read. Not to the end anyway.

Please click one of the shiny ads before you go.

God bless America.

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