Walt Disney Enterprises LLC made a huge mistake going woke, according to its very own CEO, Joe Barron. Barron says the company made a hasty decision and already regrets it.

“People say they want this stuff. Then we do it and the park loses half its guests in a single afternoon,” said Barron, “people just started walking out when Ariel came out waving a Pride Flag.”

Disney’s stock has plummeted more than 70 percent and attendance is down more than 50 percent. 9.1 million people canceled their subscriptions to Disney Plus, and local landfills report a massive influx of discarded Star Wars and Marvel toys.

It looks like Disney’s monopoly on entertaining children is over. Universal Studios, just down the street, says it will be opening a new park with antiquated rides that kinda suck to make Magic Kingdom-goers feel welcome.

America will always come together to solve problems like these, patriots. There will be plenty of knock-off Disney stuff to go around, and you won’t have to give that wretched company a dime to do it.

It’s time we took a stand and called everyone we disagree with pedophiles, patriots. It’s going really well so far. God bless America. And god bless you. Unless your name is Disney.

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