Ice cream-loving Sleepy Joe says he has the perfect fix for the country’s inflation problem. Biden ordered the American Dairy Association to raise the price of beef by $1 per pound. According to White House staffers who disagree with the move, probably because they have families to feed, Biden’s plan is a bit…out there.

The president believes that by making beef only affordable to the middle class and above, lower-income people will eat more chicken, which you can still get for two bucks a pound at Walmart. “They’ll spend less, have more to put into other things, and get healthier at the same time.”

White House Propagandress, Jen Psaki, says Biden’s plan also calls for every family in America to be given up to four boxes of low-sodium Stove Top or a voucher for four free russet potatoes, 90 count bakers.

By this time, I’ve broken AP style no fewer than six (6) times.

According to economists, Biden’s plan is “fucking stupid” and only appears on a “satire website in Taterland,” whatever that means. They did agree that if such a thing were to be real, it would be the dumbest thing since Ben Affleck managed to lose Jennifer Garner. But she hated Matt Damon, so I get it. I guess.

God bless America.

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