Elect;Arkansas DA Gets Court Order to Exhume a Body

District Attorney Joe Barron from Batt, Arkansas believes he has enough evidence to charge Hillary Clinton in the 1995 murder of Vince Foster. All he’s missing is the physical evidence he believes he can get from having Foster’s body exhumed. His wish was granted. Judge Art Tubolls of the 4th …

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Elect;Elon Musk Considering Buying Keystone XL Pipeline

Do you remember when Joseph Biden won the Presidency and then immediately called for an end to the Keystone XL pipeline for absolutely no reason at all? Well we do, and now that decision may be made moot. Gazillionaire Elon Musk, who, according to conservative dipshits across the dipshit-o-sphere, has …

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Elect;Goldberg Arrested in Hit-And-Run Incident

Whoopi Goldberg, America’s premier host of television’s The View, as well as Star Trek and Picard series space bartender was arrested yesterday evening in what authorities are calling : “A standard hit-and-run car accident.” Goldberg was booked into Queeferland, California’s Famous People Prison on one count of the infraction, and …

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Elect;Musk Sets Under 70 Age Limit For Twitter

As the newest owner of social media juggernaut Twitter, billionaire Elon Musk sets the rules now. For the second biggest platform with 330 million users, (As opposed to Facebook’s 3.5 billion, ooh, so close), the future ahead looks bright and censorship free. Well, as long as you’re over the age …

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Boom;NCAA Review Board Revokes Lia Thomas’ National Championship

The NCAA Women’s Sports Federal Review Board (WSFRB) has decided to revoke University of Pennsylvania swimmer Lia Thmas’ gold medal and national championship. Thomas, a biological male, swept through the championships leaving distraught women in her wake. Thomas’ arrival on the swimming scene changed everything. One day she was swimming …

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