Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is no stranger to controversy, from appointing her nephew Gavin Newsom as Governor of California to smuggling illegal immigrants across the border to work at her winery in Napa.

And she has stoked the fires once again, by demanding that all parents who homeschool their children teach math using Arabic numerals.

Arabic numerals! When will this madness end?

It’s almost like she’s looking for drama, making this announcement late one night when she thought no one was paying attention.

“To prepare our beloved American children to participate in the global economy, all math classes must be taught using Arabic numerals. This is not a revolutionary concept,” Speaker Pelosi said in her midnight announcement.

Joe Barron, president of the HPofA (Homeschool Parents of America) group, was incensed when reached for comment about Pelosi’s directive.

“Arabic numerals? This is America! We don’t need no stinkin’ Arabic numerals!”

World-famous mathemetician and all-around swell gal Sandy Batt rolled her eyes and sighed heavily when told of Barron’s comment.

“Do these poor dears really not know that Arabic numerals are 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, and 9? They’re the numerals we all use, every day of our lives. Perhaps they’re being triggered by the word ‘Arabic,’ which clearly offends the snowflakes because 9/11, Sharia law, and Muslims are terrifying to bedwetting thumbsuckers — all of which have nothing to do with Arabic numerals.”

She doesn’t mince words, that Sandy Batt.

Anyone who has read this far and is still upset about Pelosi’s directive should take a deep breath, calm down, and google “Arabic numerals” to confirm what Ms. Batt said.

Arabic numerals are nothing to be afraid of, patriots.

But the irrational fears from the tater set about anything having “Arabic” in the description are alternately hilarious and cringeworthy.

The degree of fear and stupidity required to push back against terminology that’s over a thousand years old is…concerning.

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